Kirstie Allsopp has been in the press for critising the term someone has 'passed' when in fact, in her opinion, they should just say they have died.
OK. I can see her point, but I think the fact that people are avoiding the word 'death' or 'died' is that it seems, well, final. Whether they have passed or died it is final anyway. But, I think the reason why we are wanting to find a softer way of saying someone has died is because we are afraid of the loss of the physical being.
One thing I try to get across in my ceremonies is that the physical being is no longer with us, but the person has not left us. From my own personal experience it is the fear of the person not being there that is the scary thing. We are used to someone walking into the room, someone you can ask a question or tell what you have been doing that day. That part, for sure, will be gone, but the person is still with you. In fact I wrote to my father for some time after he had died to contiue my conversation with him. You are at the time scared of the thought that the person will become memories. But, in time it is those memories that carry you and keeps the person who has just died alive.
If I may use Henrik Ibsen's phrase: 'Eternally owned is but what's lost'. What I want to express by that is that you can only truly keep and cherish forever the things that have slipped through your physical grasp. In this case a loved one. Once someone becomes a memory they are immune to fading away.
So, cherish the memories and take your loved one with you on your journey.
